Even Heroes Need Saving
by Laurenke1
Summary: When a spell in the seventh year dueling club goes wrong, can Severus Snape pull Harry Potter from a depression the spell created or will he just stumble onto a bigger problem? Slash warning. One shot


**Disclaimer: I don't own anything of Harry Potter. The spell belongs to Lemon Drop 7 who challenged me to writing a fic. **

**Note: I was set a challenge to use a spell that Lemon Drop came up with and well I did. My muse was silent during this whole fic, so sadly, I have no idea where this will end up. I am sure that we have all heard of Felix Felicis, the lucky potion. **

**Spell**: **Hopeless Curse  
****Incantation****: ****Interguadium**** (IN-ter-GAW-dee-um)**

**Effects****: despair and hopelessness.**

**Derivation****: from the Latin **_**interimo **_**meaning kill or **_**inter **_**meaning bury and **_**gaudium **_**meaning joy. Literal translation "kill-joy".**

**Notes****: if used in a duel the target loses the desire to fight, in extreme cases the target may become suicidal, the strength of the spell is dependent on the caster's intention, and it can be countered or if left alone it will wear off by itself**

**Author: Laurenke1. **

**Summary: When a spell in the seventh year dueling club goes wrong, can Severus Snape pull Harry Potter from a depression the spell created or will he just stumble onto a bigger problem? **

**Warnings: slash and depressing thoughts. **

**Paring: Harry Potter/Severus Snape**

**Title: Even heroes need saving. **

"_Protego_." Harry Potter roared as he hastily cast his shield charm. He was just on time for he could feel the shield vibrating as Draco Malfoy's spell bounced away from it. The messy haired, green eyed teen knew he could handle his own in a duel. He had defeated the Dark Lord Voldemort after all but then again, he had never played by so many rules.

He relived in the change to being able to do something with his hands and to try and dispel some of the restless energy that had been burning within him ever since the Final Battle.

Returning to Hogwarts for his final year under the tutelage of Headmaster Severus Snape was the challenge Harry had known it to be but it was what he had needed to try and quell the memories that always threatened to rise to the surface of his mind these days.

The newly instated dueling club had the desired effect of making him less prone to nightmares at night and thus to nighttime wanderings to try and find peace from the horrific images. Even two months after the start of term and he could still not go without one night of waking up screaming and sobbing, crying out the names of those who had died.

For a moment Remus Lupin's face swam in front of his mind eye but Harry bit his lip hard to prevent himself from moaning his friend's name. He just managed to pull himself together to see the blond male before him raise his wand for another spell.

Harry strengthened his shield charm, momentarily distracted as the Headmaster stalked past them. The older wizard turned to glance at their duel for a moment and Harry could see the pale, harsh face. The dark eyes met his but instead of the sneer that normally would have curled the lips of the newly exonerated Headmaster, Snape merely inclined his head.

Harry's heart sped up. What he wouldn't do for a kind look of the Potions Master. He was distracted again as Snape turned so his black cloak billowed behind him, showing Harry a hint of the long legs that carried the Headmaster with quick steps away from him.

He was so distracted that it registered to late that Malfoy had shouted a spell. He turned as he heard, "_Interguadium." _The wave of despair that washed over Harry was so strong suddenly that the hum that had been thumping in his blood when Snape had passed them earlier left him entirely.

The excitement that had been his focus for this duel had drowned with the wave of despair and Harry dropped his wand, all thirst for battle over. The other male before him shook his blond hair out of his grey eyes and said with a superior smirk. "I know that even saintly Potter couldn't resist that spell. What is the matter, Potter? Can't take a little bit of despair?"

Harry hadn't even felt this bad the first days after the Final Battle when all he had done had been to stay in bed all day, refusing everybody and seeing nobody. He took deep breaths to try and push away the choking feeling in his throat. The big lump that rested there only seemed to be growing bigger by the minute.

"What is happening here?" The deep voice normally would have made Harry's heart flutter as he heard it but this time he only bowed his head and looked away. He had failed Snape. The older wizard had nearly died if Harry hadn't gone back to get his body when Voldemort had been defeated.

The Headmaster had been alive, his throat torn out by the great serpent as the venom in the enormous fangs had been injected straight into his blood stream. Only some preparation that Snape had done had kept him alive.

"Potter, look at me when I address you." Normally Harry liked to image that Snape's voice held some warm tone for him as it had done for his mother for so long but who was he kidding? Even his two best friends were tired of hearing him fantasize about Snape.

Snape and he would and could never be. He was the hated son of James and Lily Potter and too much had happened in their past to even make Snape think twice about feeling the way Harry was feeling about him. Head over heels, crazy in love with the snarky, unpleasant man.

Harry refused to look up, knowing he would see the cold disdain in Snape's black eyes and he couldn't take it. Who had been kidding? Snape was twenty years his senior, hated his father, loved his mother and loathed Harry with a passion. The older wizard would sneer at best when Harry would tell him how he felt.

"Mr. Potter, did Malfoy curse away all your ability to obey a command? Look at me when I am addressing you." Harry raised his head to meet the dark eyes. The premature lines that had been etched into Snape's sallow face by the harsh life he had led stood out all the more as the older wizard frowned.

"What did you curse him with, Draco?" The Headmaster finally murmured.

"With nothing, sir." Malfoy drawled.

"Do not take me for a fool, Draco! I have had dealings with you father, boy and I know the types of spells he favors. Now I am going to ask you one last time, _what _did you curse Mr. Potter with?" Snape's voice dropped dangerously and for a moment his magic crackled through the air.

Malfoy frowned at his former Head of House and after a long examination of the dark eyes, he cast his grey eyes down and said. "I do not remember, sir."

"Oh, really now?" Snape drawled, raising a dark eyebrow before he hissed. "Perhaps this will refresh your memory. 50 points from Slytherin for cursing a fellow student with an unknown curse and…."

"But sir, Potter cursed me back in 6th year with a curse nobody knew either." Malfoy burst out.

"_I _knew the counter curse, Draco!" Snape's voice was like the cracking of a whip and Harry glanced up through his lashes to see the rage on Snape's face. The dark eyes flickered to Harry's pale face for a moment before Snape continued in a dangerous soft tone. "You will serve a fortnight worth of detentions with Professor McGonagall and you shall depart for the library this instance and research the counter curse for the hex you used. This research will be presented to me before breakfast. _If _Mr. Potter comes to harm at your hands or because of your spell, I will hold _you _responsible. Is that understood?"

Shooting Harry a look full of hate that barely registered, there were enough people who hated him anyway, Malfoy gave a muttered consent and slouched away to the library. Snape turned to look at Harry and finally, after a lengthy examination of Harry's face and the dull green eyes did Snape murmur. "Come and find me if you feel anything unusual, Potter. You are dismissed."

"Sir, I…." Harry opened his mouth.

"Yes, Potter?" Snape turned back towards him, voice soft in the commotion around them with all the other dueling students.

"Nothing…." Harry murmured ashamed. _He will never like you that way. You are just a disgusting little freak with nothing to offer. _

"Potter, are you hurting anywhere?"

_Just my heart, Severus but I am used to it by now._

"Nowhere, sir." And with those words Harry Potter turned, unaware of the masked concern in the black eyes of the Headmaster.

Hp

"Harry, mate, are you alright?" Ronald Weasley's worried tone did not even rouse Harry from his dark thoughts and memories. All he did was shrug in responds and if he had looked up he would have seen the tall, red haired male exchange a look with his bushy haired, muggle born girlfriend and Harry's other best friend, Hermione Granger.

"Harry, you look…."

"Very depressed." Ron murmured through a huge bite of cereal, showering them with crunchy bits. Harry grimaced and he forced a smile on his face.

"I am just tired." He said, trying to smile but failing miserably. He was tired since the nightmares seemed to have grown even worse in the past two days.

_Ever since Malfoy cursed me_

Harry shook his head firmly. This had nothing to do with Malfoy's curse. The curse obviously did not have the desired effect since Harry couldn't think of anything out of the ordinary. Not even the fact that it was nearly weekend could cheer him up and he sighed heavily.

"Harry, there are people to talk to you know? St Mungo's has offered the service to the school of their councilors so I am sure that somebody like you can talk to them if you want to. It is quite normal to feel like this…."

"Well, I am not normal, am I?" Harry bit out sharply. Why should they care? They hadn't seen the things he had seen or done the things that he had done….

No, he was Harry bloody Potter and he always had to do things alone so….

"Harry!" Hermione's voice sounded annoyed and worried and Harry bit his lip as he looked away. He sighed again as she continued. "Look, it is quite normal. Really, I mean, you are the Boy Who Lived…."

"It seems like it would have done a world of good if I had died!" He snapped and he could see how her brown eyes grew large. Hermione seemed on the verge of tears and Ron was trying very hard to swallow away his food so that he could probably give Harry a piece of his mind.

"How can you say that?" Hermione bit out, voice rising as the students around them fell silent.

"Well, it is the truth, isn't it? Everybody wants me dead since I am no good alive. I am 18 and I don't have a clue what to do with myself! Some hero, I am." Harry didn't realize his voice had rising or that the Great Hall had fallen silent. "Dumbledore never cared if I lived or died, denying me the love of a family member, even my godfather and everybody else! Sirius wanted a clone of James and everybody else saw either my dad or my mom, but never me! Even Voldemort knew better then to leave me alive! So who cares and…."

His chest was heaving and Harry roughly pushed himself away from the bench as he rose and stood on shaking legs. He took a deep breath, hearing the soft murmuring in the Great Hall. His face grew heated as he realized what he had just said but his heart merely hammered strongly in his chest before he said. "Nobody cares! Bloody nobody!"

A tiny part of his mind confidently said that Ron and Hermione did but they were just the only ones. Nobody else cared so why should he stay here and be gaped at like they were all doing?

"Mr. Potter, follow me to my office if you would." Of course, his humiliation was not complete without Snape witnessing it and commenting on it but Harry merely bowed his head. He already felt depressed enough so what could the Headmaster add to that?

His feet felt like lead but when the hand came to rest on his shoulder, he felt a tiny bit lighter. Snape pushed him forward as the Headmaster softly said. "Just a while longer. I have the cure ready for you, Harry."

_Cure? What curse? Did it mean that Harry would finally get the peace he so desired? _

He didn't realize he was tripping a little as they exited the Great Hall but Snape's hand continued to rest on his shoulder and Harry could almost feel the warmth that surrounded the dark clothed wizard.

He almost moaned at the loss of contact when Snape stepped away from behind Harry and led him up the stairs to the ugly gargoyle that stood before his office, guarding it. "Password?"

"Chocolate Cauldrons." Snape answered curtly and Harry's eyes shifted of their own accord to the Headmaster. He would never have anticipated hearing the names of biscuits coming from the thin lips but when Snape caught his gaze, the older wizard explained. "To use sweets as passwords was a tradition that the late Headmaster Dumbledore instated and the castle has decided to honor him by standing by this tradition. I have tried many times to change the password to something none editable but the castle refuses to acknowledge it and it would not be the first time I had been locked out of my office."

Harry was as surprised as Snape by the small chuckle that escaped him and then Snape raised an eyebrow and said. "Are you laughing at me, Potter?"

Feeling cheerier than in the past two days Harry answered. "Of course not sure. I am laughing with you."

"Good, see to it that you do. The sound is far too enjoyable for it to be the last time one has heard such a thing." Harry's eyes went wide as he heard the soft sentiment.

_He is just making fun of you like he always does. Why should he care? You are just a lucky freak with dead family and…_

Harry followed Snape up on the rotating staircase. He made sure that he never glanced directly at the Headmaster. Had he done so, he may have found that Snape's dark eyes were watching him, looking at him and taking stock of Harry.

Snape pushed himself away from the wall once they reached the door to the office and pushed it open roughly, startling Harry. The younger wizard glanced up and then with a huge sigh, walked into the office after Snape.

He refused to glance up at the portrait hanging behind the Headmaster's desk. Albus Dumbledore, former Headmaster, manipulator, puppet master and killed by Severus Snape gave a half hearty wave but Snape dismissed him as he said. "Leave us, all of you!"

The former Headmasters and Headmistress grunted and moved as one said. "Why should we leave? We are all Headmasters and we can stay put if we want…."

"I doubt very much that Mr. Potter would take kindly if I see to his healing with all the past Headmasters watching, Professor Black. You are duty bound to respect the wishes of the current Headmaster and I say that you can each go back to your other portrait until I summon you back." Snape's voice was soft as he gestured for Harry to sit down in one of the chairs.

Harry glanced around the office. It hadn't changed at all since Dumbledore had been Headmaster, except that it seemed tidied. There was even a bird stand for Fawkes who trilled at Harry. Harry was amazed, he had always assumed that Fawkes had left after Dumbledore's death since he had been Dumbledore's familiar but then Snape softly said as he caught Harry watching. "Fawkes is Hogwarts' familiar and he doesn't bite, unlike me."

Harry's head snapped up. The spell Malfoy used must be working after all for he was hearing things. Snape smirked at him as the older wizard paced behind his chair before Harry blushed and looked away to the floor.

"Now, Potter, kindly tell me your symptoms." Snape sat in his chair, his back straight as he stapled his fingers before him and glanced at Harry, dark eyes unreadable.

"Symptoms, sir?" Harry was puzzled. What was Snape talking about?

The look sharpened and Harry could almost feel the disappointment. He looked away. It was another thing he did, to disappoint people. His parents, Dumbledore, his relatives, Ron and Hermione, the Weasleys by not marrying Ginny and countless other people because he had killed Voldemort too late. Surely lots of students would have still been alive if Harry had just killed the bastard sooner.

The rustling of parchment caught his attention and Harry glanced up. Snape was shuffling a stack of papers as he held them out to Harry and said. "In the dueling club two days ago, you were cursed by Draco Malfoy with the Interguadium or the hopeless curse. It is a dark curse that invokes feelings of despair and hopelessness in a person. The strength of the curse is depending on the intention of the caster and the strength of the spell. The curse is known to cause suicidal thoughts in a person. Left on its own the curse normally breaks unless there is enough despair within that person to feed upon."

"And you think that I am suicidal because of this curse?" Harry accepted the stack of parchment from Snape.

He read the first few lines in the neat handwriting that could not possibly belong to the Headmaster. Snape's handwriting was spiky and slanted and Harry had seen it more times than he could count as he remembered the potions book back in his 6th year.

"It is my believe, Harry, that the curse amplifies the feelings you already have." Snape softly said and Harry glanced up. He didn't even know what to answer to it and Snape finally continued, looking at Harry carefully. "It is my believe that the curse fed on the despair that is already within you and thus makes you feel even worse than normal. Am I right?"

Harry looked away. He suddenly felt very venerable, a feeling that usually meant he would be hurt again. He only gave the tiniest of nods to the carpet and then Snape asked. "Would you consent to sharing exactly what you are feeling, Harry?"

Harry took a deep breath. Why would Snape care? But wouldn't it feel nice to share those feelings that he had been burying for such a long with somebody? He wasn't even sure where to begin as Fawkes trilled softly and the lump in his throat dissolved and Harry choked out.

"It hurts. It is almost like a physical pain when I am reminded of everybody that fell. I see their faces and their last moments every day when I walk through these halls and at night the nightmares keep haunting me. Nobody bloody cares. They all want me to do as they say and the Ministry wants me to work for them and the Wizarding World won't leave me alone. I want to have peace and I don't want to be reminded every day. I don't care that I defeated Voldemort. If somebody else could have done it then they should have and they have to stop blaming me…."

He took a deep breath to try and keep the tears inside that threatened to rise to the surface.

_Damn Malfoy_

"Am I the first person that you are speaking to regarding these feelings?" Snape's voice cut through Harry's miserable thought and Harry glanced up to meet the dark eyes as he said.

"I talk to Hermione and Ron sometimes."

"Ah, yes, Mrs. Granger and Mr. Weasley." Snape's tone bordered on a sneer as he spat out the names before the older wizard managed to force himself back under control and said. "And what did they do when you told them how you felt?"

Harry looked away again and answered. "At first they were keen to listen but after a while their life went on and since…since they just discovered how they feel about each other, it is understandable that they talk to each other more then they talk to me. And sometimes it just feels really awkward between the three of us. I can't blame them, I mean they have their own problems and I wouldn't listen to me whining all the time."

"Mr. Potter, you are hardly whining. I would be very surprised indeed if Mr. Weasley and Mrs. Granger knew what to tell you to make you feel better since you are right that they do have their own problems. Why did you not see Madam Pomfrey with these symptoms or any of the other healers at St. Mungo's?"

A flash of guild flared in Harry's chest as he said with a trembling voice. "I don't want to be pitied and I am sure that the moment I set a foot in there the Daily Prophet is going to have a field day with a headline like: 'Potter can't cope.' The people need to have a hero who can be strong and…"

"That, Mr. Potter, is a load of crap!" Snape stated firmly. Harry glanced up, tears in his eyes as Snape continued. "You do not have to be strong for any reason, Potter. You have done your part and you deserve some rest and peace."

Harry's heart swelled nearly painfully and had he not been under the curse he knew he would have been grinning broadly. Snape looked at him for a long moment and then reached inside his pocket to produce a small vial which he set upon the table.

Harry glanced at the vial. Inside was a golden liquid and Harry glanced back to Snape as he said. "That is Felix Felicis."

The Headmaster inclined his dark head and answered. "Very good, Mr. Potter. It seems that you do pay attention in class. Now, as you know the name of the potion, I am sure that you are also familiar with the workings of the potion."

"Yes, it makes somebody lucky for a period of time."

"Not quite, Potter. The potion also has other workings. It does make one luckier as you are correct for it makes suggestions that the individual must follow but it can create giddiness when taken in large quantities."

"But I thought that it was dangerous when it is taken in large quantities." Harry glanced up.

"I am here to monitor how much you take, Harry. The quantities that people are speaking about when they say that it is toxic means taking the potion every day. This is only once so you are safe."

"But why this potion?" Harry leaned forward a little bit. He was suddenly looking forward to feeling a bit lucky and perhaps, well perhaps he could even take a change with Snape.

"It inspires happiness in people when they are lucky and the only known counter for what you were cursed with. It took me a day and a large sum to acquire it."

"You couldn't brew it yourself?" Snape sneered at him for a moment and then said.

"It takes a full 6 months to brew and Slughorn was out of stock." Snape gestured for Harry to take it.

"You really didn't need to do it for me, sir." Yet Harry did reach out to curl his fingers around the vial. He found it slightly warmed and uncorked it, tilting the bottle back. He swallowed, feeling the liquid slide past his throat and then he set it back on the desk. He had only drunk half but it was enough.

"Oh I think I did." Snape softly said eyes bright as he watched Harry. The potion took affect almost immediately and Harry could feel the despair fade away as a little voice nudged him to get up and approach Fawkes. Who was he to deny that wonderful voice deep within him?

He got to his feet a bit unsteady and approached Fawkes. But the bird flew away and went to perch on the back of Snape's chair even before Harry could come close. The older wizard chuckled softly when Fawkes hopped down in his lap and reached down to pet the bird.

Harry stood staring for a moment, wondering what to do. Snape glanced up at him with those dark eyes and then Harry moved closer to the older wizard and said. "Shoo, Fawkes that is my place."

Snape raised a dark eyebrow in shock and then purred, recovering quickly. "Oh is it?"

"Yes." Harry informed Snape as they watched Fawkes hop onto the desk so Harry could lower himself in the broad lap. He wondered if it was the right thing to do but he found he didn't care. He was too giddy at the moment so he sat himself down carefully.

The moment he sat down stiffly he became aware of the arm that was wrapped around his back as Snape raised Harry's chin so they could look eye to eye. "Is it the potion that thinks this is the right course or is it you?"

"Why don't we wait and find out?" Harry asked cheeky and Snape laughed softly.

"Very well." The older wizard breathed and Harry rested his head against Snape's shoulder, shifting a bit to find a comfortable spot. One wave of the dark wand and the chair was transformed into a large and comfortable, old leather chair and Harry sighed loudly.

They sat in silence for a while as the light in the room grew brighter and the minutes ticked away. Harry was aware of the steady pounding underneath his ear, the hand that strokes his back in comfortable circles and the weariness that was creeping up on him.

It seemed that finally the nights of broken sleep were catching up with him and Harry Potter found himself falling asleep on the lap of the Headmaster Severus Snape and there wasn't a thing he would have done about it.

Hp

"Harry?" The low voice struggled to the blackness and Harry opened his eyes, feeling cocooned in warmth a feeling rested since a long time.

He wondered where he was as he yawned and searched to snuggled back in to the comforts of sleep. He glanced up to meet the dark eyes and flinched as the past hours rushed to catch up with him. How could he have been such a fool?

He had sat himself in Snape's lap and fallen asleep. So foolish. Yet Snape's hand did not move from where it lay on Harry's back and then the older wizard asked. "What are you feeling?"

"Mortification." Harry said with burning cheek. The green eyes were cast down and Harry heard the deep voice rumble through the chest he was leaning stiffly against as Snape asked.

"And why is that?"

"Because I fell asleep in your lap."

"You said that you belonged in my lap and that it was your place. Do you mean that?" Harry gave a tight nod as he balled his fists in the fabric of his school robes. He closed his eyes tightly as he struggled to keep control of himself and not flee.

Lips were placed against his temple as a voice whispered. "Do you wish to know what I feel?"

Harry shook his head firmly from side to side and this time the dark voice dripped with amusement. "No? You are being very insolent today, aren't you? And why don't you care to know how I feel?"

"I want to keep the illusion for a little while that you may actually feel the same about me." Harry told his closed eyelids.

"And how do you feel about me?" Lips nipped at his earlobe and Harry breathed in deeply as he said.

"Like I am in love with you."

"Why don't you shift that lovely arse of yours a little so that you may feel for yourself how I feel?" Harry shifted a little, feeling the answering hardness in Snape's lap as his eyes shot open. He met the black ones that were oh so close as he said exclaimed. "You are aroused."

"It is what happens when you go shifting in a man's lap, Harry. Especially somebody as lovely as you." Harry sucked in a deep breath as Snape looked at him and then informed him.

"I am going to kiss you now, would you like that?"

Harry could only nod breathlessly as Snape's lips curled into a smile before he lowered them to Harry's. The touch of the thin lips sent electric fire down Harry's spine and he moaned as he opened his mouth. He wrapped his arms around Snape's neck and when Snape deepened their kiss, Harry hoped that it wasn't the potion.

He broke the kiss as Snape softly purred at him. "I am going to write you up for counseling sessions with the Headmaster, Mr. Potter and I have full confidence that under my wing you will feel better within due time."

"But sir, I think that these _sessions _need to continue for a long time since I have a lot of mental issues. Problems with authority, saving people thing, a hero complex…."

"I am sure that we may be at this for an unforeseeable time then." Snape purred and for once, Harry found himself in full agreement with Professor Severus Snape.

The end.

**Alright the title had nothing to do with the fic but I am not going to change it. I hope you liked it. Review of course. **


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